Lessons about Life

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry, God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative, dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.




P/S: Angeline is massive blogging about random stuff.
P/P/S: Angeline is obviously on leave.

Laughter

School - A place where Daddy pays and son plays.

Life Insurance - A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.

Marriage - It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Compromise - The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference Room - A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father - A banker provided by nature.

Criminal - A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught.

Boss - Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Doctor - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.

Etc. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience - The name men give to their mistakes.

P/S: Laughter is the best medicine.
P/P/S: Angeline laughed really hard.

Men Vs Women

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, the men will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOM

A man has seven items in his bathroom, namely toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, deodorant and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!


P/S: Angeline receives this email and thought that it was entertaining.
P/P/S: Angeline likes it!